Hi-larious

Love it

Hi-larious

Spring has sprung...

... and here's the proof:

Hear my prayer... again

My prayer.

A quote from JF

There seems to be a running theme in these last bunch of entries (inconsistent as they may be). They all, in one way or another, reference Jon Foreman. Sorry, Jon, I'm really not a stalker-- haha. His words, though, have a way of resonating deep in my soul and I've really appreciated reading his lyrics, his tweets, and his op-ed pieces. It is from one of these op-ed (see the link at the bottom of the page) that I draw the following quote (portions in bold are those that deeply resonate with me):

"The artist is a bridge between despair and hope. The artist, more than anyone else is responsible for the re-creation, re-definition and re-thinking the world around us. Every poem, every song, every painting has tremendous possibility. Each of these creations could be a letter of resignation to The World That Is or a window into The World That Is Not. Each poem/painting/song could be a vehicle to a new reality, one in which the artist plays a part no matter how small. The artist paints a world into existence. The canvas, the paint, the brush--these known quantities of existence and reality are tools for stepping into the unknown.
The notes of the song are a bridge from what is to what is not yet."

There are so many things in this quote that I wish I had the energy to respond to. All I can manage to say right now is that my heart longs for this in a way that defies my not inconsiderable ability to articulate it (*pat pat* good ego, gooood ego!). If there is one thing that I am continuously frustrated by during my graduate school experience, it is the lack of time to be truly creative. Deep down, I recognize myself as an artist more than anything else. But the creative side in me has been so neglected over these last few years that I feel like the very core of me is completely neglected and so I've been coasting on fumes the last few years instead of a full tank.

Creative Matt, I miss you.

Hear my prayer

This is a song by my favorite songwriter, Jon Foreman, in his band Fiction Family. These lyrics are the lyrics that have been bleeding out of my heart for as long as I can remember.

Mostly

This is darkest day I've seen
I can't find an opening
I've never felt this rage in me
I've never known this anger

I'm feeling like a curse
I feel like I'm getting worse
I'm bored with war and songs
I've been bitter far too long
Come on prove me long

And tell me I'm no longer
And tell me I'm not crazy
Well maybe just a little bit
Maybe just a little bit crazy
But mostly prove me wrong

They're up to something in my head
I can hear them taunting me
Thanks for nothing imagined friends
I can hear you laughing

I feel like a hearse
Like I'm carrying dead hurts
I'm tired of being right
I'm retiring from that fight
Hey come on prove me wrong

And tell my I'm no longer
Tell me I'm not crazy
Or maybe just a little bit
Maybe just a little bit crazy
But mostly prove me wrong

I'm feeling like a bomb
Like I'm screwing up my song
It's like I don't belong
No point in going on
Hey come on prove me wrong

Tell me I'm not crazy
Or maybe just a little bit
Maybe just a little bit crazy
But mostly prove me wrong

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